In Which Geoff is Accosted by a Crazy Lady

Hey Sibi. I'm a History Major, just so you know!

So, the plan was for me to take the U-Bahn to Nollendorfplatz and meet Dorothee there. Then the both of us would drive to Hauptbahnhof to get Ian. Little did I know that I would soon find myself on Germany's most wanted list.

After getting off the train, I went down the stairs to a small parking area under the station (The part I had exited from was a raised platform). I was early, so I wasn't surprised when I found myself waiting for 10 or 15 minutes. By now it was pretty dark (but it was only 4:45, still). Throughout all of this, something odd was going on.

Eventually, over the white noise of cars , I noticed a woman's voice saying "Hey" repeatedly. Following the sound, I saw a woman on a 4rd floor balcony (that's the 3rd in Germany), who apparently wanted to get my attention. No, I thought, why would she want to talk to me? She's probably yelling to someone on the platform. Later I realized that the platform was entirely covered. Compunding my confusion was that I couldn't understand the what the woman was saying after I looked at her. She also yelled to other people on the street, but I couldn't hear their conversations over the noise of the cars. As I walked back and forth, sat on railings, and generally just waited around, the woman apparently got more agitated. She began to wave her left arm, implying that I should move on. So I did what any person waiting for a ride might do.

I continued to ignore her.

It had been about 20 minutes for sure. I walked to the other end of the under-area, to see if Dorothee was there. Unsuccessfully I returned to my original spot. The woman was nowhere to be found...until she noticed that I was back. She got back out to her watchtower, and started yelling again. I swear that she had binoculars by this point. The awkward factor was off the charts. A taxi driver pulled up and parked, then went off, probably to get something to eat. Something had to give!

5 minutes later, and I got a call from Dorothee asking where I was. As I described my location (to Dorothee's confusion), I heard a noise from behind me.

"Hey!"

The woman, seen clearly, was in her 50's or 60's, and looked like a stereotypical German Housewife. She had this black robe-like piece of clothing on It actually took me a minute to realize who this was, because, honestly, I wasn't expecting this woman to actually come down and face me. She was pissed.

After her first lighting fast tirade, she stared at me and asked if I understood German. I said "A little." Apparently, that gave her a free pass to continue as fast as possible. At first, I thought she was angry about the taxi. She kept turning towards it, and pointing at me, and then all around. I explained that it wasn't mine, and that the driver had gone somewhere. Bzzt. Wrong answer. She kept going. Although I didn't get all of it, I understood that she wanted to know what I was doing here. "Waiting for a car." I said, not without difficulty, since she kept interrupting me. She didn't believe me, of course. "Yes," I said. "And now my car is here." I pointed to my phone which I had left on the whole time, for effect. She said something (I only gleaned "I've never seen such something something" from her words) and made some motion. It looked like she wanted me to follow her. So I did.

Uh, no, wait. That's not right. I walked away from her while she slowly walked back towards her apartment. Why would I ever follow a crazy person. I had hung up the phone after using it as a prop, so I called Dorothee. After a bit of clarification, I discovered that there are two exits to Nollendorfplatz, and I was supposed to be at the other one. When we finally met up, Dorothee said that she was worried about me.

From what she heard over the phone (which was everything, considering how loud the Crazy Lady was talking), there was a distinct possibility that my accuser either was going to call the police, or already had.

What the hell, Crazy Lady? What did I ever do to you?

What I learned from all this, aside from the laughs that I had about the whole thing afterwards (and even during; it was so ridiculous), was that I must have looked like some sort of criminal-type, what with my Black fleece jacket, Black gloves, Black shoes, and Jeans.

I'm just glad that Crazy Lady stopped me before I gave in to my criminal urges; I could have been arrested for loitering! In a public space, no less!

You so crazy, Crazy Lady.